Luckily, even the loud, obnoxious cat knows when to shut up and avoid me. If you knew this cat, you would know he never shuts up. He meows 24/7. He meows himself to sleep.
I went to McDonald's and got a Sprite for some sugar and some french fries for some salt. The emotional eating commenced.
I came home and took some Benadryl. Stress seems to escalate my allergies tenfold. I contemplate crying because sometimes that makes me feel better. It is a release - a way of letting go. But emotions don't come that easy for me. I don't cry unless I think to myself "okay, you can cry now." So I grunt and moan and slam doors instead.
Now, I thought I would blog. I need to release the stress somehow. So, I thought I would share. I am human. I try so hard to be balanced and not try to always be in control. But old habits die hard. I have allowed myself to be busy and not taken the time to stop and breathe and be grateful.
With meltdown commencing, I slammed the door, shut out the world, turned on some Praise and Worship, and here I sit.
When I need deep breathing and reminders to slow down, I turn to www.aholyexperience.com. Ann Voskamp always has the words I need to hear (or read). Here are a couple posts I read:
Blogging gives me an outlet and also accountability. This year will be different. I do not have to repeat my past mistakes of getting to focused on all of the to-do's. The to-do's are not why I became a teacher. I became a teacher to have opportunities to learn, to give my life meaning, and make a difference in the lives of others. I don't have to accomplish eveything this week or even this year. My goal - my job - is to get to know my students as students and people - to help them grow and have fun and learn and find joy in the process. That is what I need to remember.
I want my classroom to be a place of joy and learning and joy of learning. And as Ann Voskamp has shown me again and again, joy begins with gratitude. So, tonight I am thankful for:
- a new year
- my new students
- a good time with friends
- praise and worship
- a patient husband
- a puppy who makes me smile
- my Sprite
- this little blog
- the release of stress
- my readers/followers
- my discovery of the teacher blogging community
- new opportunities
- 1 more day to get some things done
- a good night's sleep
- hot showers
- a door to shut out the cat when I need to
- my savior who again and again saves me from my own failures and expectations
Meltdown done (for now).